I Have No Idea What To Write.   Can I go home now? No More Politics: The Big Goddam Hole In My Life   Life is weird.   Adrienne is working on a new version of my page. It looks great but now I cannot use my trusty and way-the-fuck-out-of-date Adobe PageMill. Now I'll have to update my page in NotePad or some such thing.   Yay.   This entry started out depressing as hell. I wrote for a while on it and then figured out that I just needed to get some things off of my chest. Once I got them written down, I was able to delete these stupid thoughts and move the fuck on.   Something weird has happened in my life over the last year or so.   When I was a kid and a young adult, I could not understand the way the nihilistic dumbfucks of the seventies, eighties, and nineties went on and on and on about their hopelessness; how they couldn't wait for the End Of It All. Such bullshit. Life was good, the Republicans had balls, and I knew what was what, but I think things started going downhill on 09-11.   SIDEBAR MODE: ON It's funny. I've always been someone that looked at things from a bottom-up perspective. A few truly observant people on the bottom of the food chain will always have a better overall business perspective than all of the "experts" at the top. Period.   Case in point: In the Summer of 2001, the hotel I was working at was coming apart at the seams. To make a long story short, we were losing business-stay customers throughout the summer and were laying off employees well before the 9-11 attacks.   I knew the economy was taking a nosedive well before anyone was talking about it. If we were getting affected at the bottom like this, there would come a day of reckoning. It was obvious, to us at the bottom, that the economy was in trouble. Wall street was trying to keep stock prices up and were pretending that nothing was going on.   I also remember thinking that it would be two years or so before the economy would make a recovery. This would spell doom for President Bush. He would lose the election just like his dad because of the supposed economy problems. I figured that the economy would ramp up after about thirty months. halfway through the campaign, and we would again be hearing the old, "It's the economy, stupid." chants from the left just before they got yet another Democrat elected to office.   I figured that it would take a miracle to save George Jr's ass. Bush would need a scapegoat for the economy.   Important Note: I had ALL of these thoughts well before the 9-11 attacks.   When I saw the planes do their thing on TV and then found out it was a terrorist attack, I remember thinking, "George did this."   Another Important Note: The "George did this" revelation occurred to me within the first hour of learning that the plane "accidents" were actually terrorist attacks.   Really, it's bizarre, it's paranoid, but it's frighteningly true.   Honestly, I have no idea why this is important or what it has to do with my current mindset, it is just somehow important.     SIDEBAR MODE: OFF   As the years went on after 9-11, my attitude changed. I think my head injury didn't help things much. I started giving less and less of a damn about everything.   George started a stupid war. People started talking about North Korea and Iran the same way George and his cronies talked about Iraq.   I just don't care any more.   Let the Iranians have their nukes. Let the North Koreans have their bombs. Let them blow up anything and everything they want to blow up. My attitude was (and still is), "Bring it the fuck on. We will kill your children and broadcast it on television. We will burn your schools and dance in the streets to celebrate the occasion. We will cook your cities, fry your countryside, and we will kill anyone that even remotely threatens us like this ever again. Terror? I'll show you terror. We will wipe you bastards out of existence - completely."   Not pretty, I must admit, but it's the truth.   But the politicians and the pundits continued to play with the scenarios in order to get people worked up. "We need to invade, we need to stop this."   SIDEBAR MODE: ON AGAIN Intervening is the LAST thing we need to do.   My theory is this...   Give them what they want; let them do what they will - I do not care.   My experience with punks, bullies, and other Insanely Dickless Individuals is that they generally do not fuck with people that just do not give a damn. People with nothing to lose are the most dangerous people on the planet. I'm tired of the sabre rattling, let's get it on and let's do it until everyone is dead.   Man, am I on a tear or what?   I realize that this seems to have little to do with what is going on my head or why life is so weird for4 me.   Just bear with me, ok?   SIDEBAR MODE: OFF AGAIN   Anyway, I watch with horror as the peacenik president says that he needs to prevent Iran from getting nukes, as he sends more troops to Afghanistan, as he keeps our troops in Iraq, all of this while shoving an Orwellian health care bill down the collective throat of the American public. I see this and I think, "Fuck it. Let the end begin."   I used to love the idea of following and participating in politics; now I'm sick of it. The Dems and the Pubs all want as many illegals in the country as possible, they all want to give as much of our money away as possible, they want to disarm us so as to do as they please without consequence, and they are literally above the law in every conceivable way. There is no goddam difference between the two parties. I am over it.   Want, nihilism? You've got it.   And I am tired of playing.   This is never going to see the light of day...   I'll just archive it.   Copyright 2009 by Frank Emsley