More Random Garbage.   Yay.   I get to talk to nurses all night. Most nurses are ok but every once in a while I have a night that makes me want to just, I dunno...   ALEX: Ok, Frank what will it be? Will it be talking to a registered nurse or will it be The Giant Hadron Collider?   ME: I'll take the Screaming Gravitational Black Hole of Death for a thousand, Alex...   Jesus. It wouldn't be so bad but I get the retarded nurses right after they have received a massive head injury and have forgotten the remotest tidbit of medical knowledge they might have once had before they got to work that night. With any luck, the RN will also have an insanely thick accent and will have just gotten back from the dentist's office after having their head numbed and all of their teeth removed.   ALEX: Ok, Frank what will it be? Will it be talking to a registered nurse or involuntary prison sex forever?   ME: I'll have the Infinitely Violent Disease-Ridden Butt-Sex for five hundred, Alex...   Double yay!   That's really not fair. A lot of the nurses that I find so frustrating have their own set of problems. Then again, I don't really care about their problems. It has always been, and always will be, all about Frank. Nurses everywhere should do everything for my convenience and my conveniance alone. Period.   Wah.   Sorry, I'm better now.   I have no idea what to write about.   Yesterday I was going to go on a rant about Disney television but I have shelved that piece of misery for a later date. I was unable to find any expletive that adequately conveys the utter disgust I have for that channel. It is a sad day when describing the writers for "Zach and Cody: The Suite Life." as "NAMBLA rejects" is insufficient because it does not convey proper level of putredness (and, yes, that is how it is spelled), it is time to put the article up until terms that describe the proper lever of disgust are obtained.   On To Other Weirdness...   I have, for many years, had to deal with a near bipolar life. One of the reasons that I am actually happy with my utter failure as a recording artist is that I somehow gathered enough of an attention span to complete two CDs and to have a weird radio gig for almost two years. Most of the time, ideas like recording and radio shows fly around my head along with hundreds of other ideas, and the number of things that I want to do are so overwhelming that I usually just give up and do nothing.   Doing nothing with any of my "great" ideas leaves me depressed, so I eventually tank-out and give up. After my wife left, I rediscovered the near-mania and what self medication was all about and, while there is no real excuse for being stupid, I have a better understanding of what some people go through.   To make an annoyingly long story short - My life is together again sooooo...   Here are my goals: Update my page on a more regular basis. Get the Amazon thing going on my site. (Books and Movies with reviews, etc). Start recording again. Stand up stuff. Get the duct tape stuff up and running again. Make beer. Shoot up. Die homeless. Yay. Weird Dreams   I have no idea why I'm going to write about these things but I can't not do it.   Here we go...   I've been having strange dreams lately and I think that two of them are worth mentioning.   Dream One: I had a dream where I saw the last name of Alladawi on a sign somewhere. I won't explain where the name comes from, it would take too long. The weird thing is that the last name belonged to someone other than the person that I know by this name. The person that I DO know with this name is someone I barely know and almost never talk to in the first place. So anyway, I find myself watching a television reality show about organ donation. The cameras follow the organ procurement organization (OPO) staff around to see what they do. When I finally see the OPO staff, I realize that the entire staff is made up of... Yes... Midgets. A reality show about a Midget OPO. Jesus Christ... Here's where it gets really weird. Two days later I get a call from Mr. Alladawi (I don't think I've spoken to him in almost a year) and of course I told him the whole thing. Mr. Alladawi ran away screaming from the phone and into traffic.   Yay.   Dream Two: The Dream started out normally enough... My friend wanted to become a swashbuckling pirate and needed to find a name for himself (this is how most of my dreams start). He wanted to use either Bluebeard or Blackbeard for his name but those names were already taken. Yellowbeard was made into a movie so that name was out of the question as well. My friend showed up a while later in a pirate outfit and told me that he had found an identity for himself. From now on he would be known as Shitbeard. I looked at his beard and said, "Holy fuck! That's just gross!" It was so bizarre that I woke up laughing. My wife asked me what I woke up laughing about so I told her about my dream. She has since moved down into the basement and refuses to acknowledge my existence.   Boo...   My Movie Script     I found a screenwriting job on CL. Here's the synopsis of the movie to be written...   Two brothers do some traveling and embark on a journey to the Mayan city of Palenque. It is the year 2012. After a night of partying, Anthony has a dream that a Mayan princess reveals that he and his brother are mythical souls on a mission to save the earth from impending doom. The two brothers find the Medallion of Fate which transports them to another world inhabited by humankind's most important ally in the impending war between earth and alien enemies. With the help of the allies and a deep spiritual understanding, the brothers serve as galactic diplomats and heroes to humanity.   Screenplay: The Palenque Brothers Written by Frank Emsley   EXTERIOR: Two brothers, FRED (29 years old) and ANTHONY (32 years old) are walking to a fur covered shed in ANTHONY's back yard. The walk is a long midafternoon stroll as the shed is two and one half miles away.   FRED: I think we should do some traveling and embark on a journey to the Mayan city of Palenque.   ANTHONY: Good idea. After we get there, I think that we should party a lot and then afterwards I can have a dream that a Mayan princess reveals that we are mythical souls on a mission to save the earth from impending doom.   FRED: Good idea.   ANTHONY: I thought so.   FRED: Let's go.   EXTERIOR: Early morning. FRED and ANTHONY are standing in downtown Palenque and discussing their plans while walking toward a fur covered pyramid.   ANTHONY: Wow, did I get drunk last night or what? And what was with that dream?   FRED: You mean the Mayan Princess dream?   ANTHONY: No the other dream featuring the midget OPO and Shitbeard The Pirate. Of course, the Mayan princess dream. Hey look! (POINTING AT GROUND) What is that?   FRED: that looks like the Medallion of Fate which will transport us to another world inhabited by humankind's most important ally in the impending war between earth and alien enemies.   ANOTHONY: Holy fuck! Really?   FRED: No, I'm just kidding, that's just a bottle cap. The Medallion of Fate which will transport us to another world inhabited by humankind's most important ally in the impending war between earth and alien enemies is over there by that rock.   ANTHONY: Holy fuck! (RUNS OVER AND PICK UP MEDALLION OF FATE)   EXTERIOR: Another world inhabited by humankind's most important ally in the impending war between earth and alien enemies. It is around lunch time. FRED and ANTHONY are looking at an alien named JOE.   JOE: Welcome, you are in another world inhabited by humankind's most important ally in the impending war between earth and alien enemies. How can I help you?   ANTHONY: With your help and out deep spiritual understanding, I believe that we can serve as galactic diplomats while you help us become heroes to humanity.   FRED: Yeah, ditto.   JOE: (PRODUCES GADGET WITH A BUTTON ON IT) Here, push this.   ANTHONY: (PUSHING BUTTON) Ok, what does this do?   JOE: It defeats earth's alien enemies by destroying them.   FRED: That's pretty generic. Anything else happen?   JOE: Yes, it makes ice cream.   ANTHONY: Wow, that's pretty cool!   EXTERIOR: FRED and ANTHONY are standing next to a fur covered shed in ANTHONY's back yard.   FRED: Well, we're heroes to humanity now.   ANTHONY: And look, there's ice cream here!   FRED: We win!   EXTERIOR: A GIANT SPACE SHIP from another world inhabited by humankind's most important ally in the recent war between earth and alien enemies shows up and hovers over FRED and ANTHONY.   SPACESHIP LOUDSPEAKERS: What?!? A fur covered SHED?!?!   ANTHONY: Oh fuck.   FX: GIANT SPACE SHIP from another world inhabited by humankind's most important ally in the recent war between earth and alien enemies destroys earth with giant RAY GUN.   FADE IN: "The End"   FADE.   RUN CREDITS   This should be a big fucking hit.   I can't wait for the royalties to pour in.   Later...   Copyright 2009 by Frank Emsley